11 Questions in 11 Minutes GO! With Mandy and Ellen

ELLEN BRIGGS

What is your idea of bliss?

Having a ride on lawn mower equipped with air-conditioning and a fridge full of caramel slices and 40 acres of lawn to mow.

What is the trait you least like about yourself?

My intolerance of people who don’t like dogs.  I don’t care if they’d had childhood trauma around an attack, I find it hard to muster up sympathy and I don’t trust them.

What do you consider to be the most overrated virtues?

Happiness.  If everyone walked around being happy all the time imagine how boring they’d be.  There’s nothing more interesting than eavesdropping on a pissed off middle aged woman in the café.

Greatest regret?

Getting the taste for caramel slices.

Who would be your nemesis?

Any of the WAGS who are married to Australian Cricketers.  I love cricket and I would be a better wife than any of them, hands down.

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to attract an Australian Cricketer.

Biggest dislike?

Shared water, like public pools, jacuzzies, spa baths, etc. I don’t want to share your bodily fluids with mine thank you very much.

Qualities you admire in a man?

The ability to cook a meal, clean the kitchen and not ask everyone in the family “how good was dinner” seventeen times after dinner.  I haven’t met that man yet.

Qualities you admire in a woman?

Her ability to operate on less sleep than everyone else in the house, and to make the switch from screaming at her family like a white walker on Game Of Thrones to the perfect host when that front door opens and the guests arrive.

What is your best characteristic?

I can crochet really, really good granny squares.

What would your motto be?

Step Away From The Caramel Slice.

MANDY NOLAN

What is your idea of bliss?

Watching a mans naked arse from my bedroom window as he puts the bin out. 

What is the trait you least like about yourself?

My flat stomach. I have to work so hard to look a bit fat.

What do you consider to be the most overrated virtues?

Kindness. Compassion and generosity. Look what its done for the Dalai Lama, he still can’t go home and he’s still 

in the same outfit!

Greatest regret?

Hammering a tampon in with a rock. You’ll have to read the book.

Who would be your nemesis?

Amy Schumer. Because I’m funnier but she’s younger and has more likes on Facebook. 

Which talent would you most like to have?

I’d like to be able to sing, because then I could crush at Karaoke. Instead, people to ask me to go home.

Biggest dislike?

People who are good at singing who hog karaoke. It’s for people who can’t sing but are really drunk or confident. Real talent belongs

in an RSL club.

Qualities you admire in a man?

A man that says ‘you were right’. And then he says ‘wow I love those new cushions’. And then he asks me to tell him about my dream while giving me a foot rub.

It’s no surprise I’m up to my third husband. 

Qualities you admire in a woman?

When they laugh and their forehead moves! That’s so refreshing.

What is your best characteristic?

My forehead moves. I’m also kind, compassionate and very generous. And I have great legs.

What would your motto be?

If you can’t do it, then pay someone to do it for you and take the credit. Its what men have been doing to women for years. 

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